Each sadhana defines the word ‘mysterious’ in a special way. There are sadhaks who spent their entire life chanting mantras and got nothing; and there are sadhaks who chanted a mantra once and succeeded. It’s like being on a crowded platform and waiting for a once in lifetime train to ultimate success which is invisible, inaudible and undetectable by normal means. Those who know exactly when and how, board it while the remaining keep thinking eternally that the train never existed.
Almost all sadhaks who fail, fail because of their shortcomings (physical, mental and spiritual) and bad karma (accumulated in this and past lives).
Even when I was relatively new to this field and had not yet proven myself worthy enough to be blessed with the advanced knowledge; I never considered waiting forever to reach the next level. My reckless ways force me beyond my limits and almost always land me in trouble; but this time, things were different.
I thought, I would chant 112 rosary rounds a day during Navratri. The invisible, who had chosen Dakshin Kali beej mantra sadhana for this step of my journey into the unknown, had other plans. Although I am no stranger to it, the joy of sadhana, alone, was not enough for something as maniacal as completing the whole purashcharan in a single day. Now that I have done it; I know, there was something that kept me going during those grueling 16 hours each day; not once, not twice, but for 8 days straight.
Each mantra makes an impact. Once the intensity threshold is crossed, the impact increases exponentially helping the sadhak retain the Turiya state which, eventually, makes the sadhana successful.
The invisible had chosen the eighth day for my triumph. I was completely detached from the material world; yet, I was very much aware of my goal – the single thought carefully placed at the focal point of all my energies. The moment I shattered my mental barriers, I could’ve desired anything. It was my day, the whole Universe was mine and thus, I asked for just that.
The next moment, I found the Universe standing in front of me in human form – my Guru – the controller of Siddhashram – Paramhansa Swami Nikhileshwaranand.
I bowed down and touched his feet with my forehead. I was with my Guru once again. My eyes were now able to see the invisible. I was stunned; but movement was irrelevant. I was speechless; but it hardly mattered as there was nothing to say. Time stood still till he placed his right thumb on my forehead. Something entered my forehead, rushed down the base of my spine and wildly rose upwards again. As it reached the crown of my head, I heard a deafening sound and then – nothing – absolutely nothing – no life, no death; no darkness, no light; no hell and absolutely no heaven. Null.
As I returned to the ‘normal’ world, though I forgot when, I realised nothing was normal anymore. I now had access to the powers of every sadhana that had failed and every sadhana that was successful over the years. With the blessing of my Guruji, the word ‘impossible’ had finally lost it’s meaning.
I am no longer wandering the dark. I can now see my destination.
